21 Things about ways to make small amounts of money the houses of parliament which are completely mental ccuk

Smoking has been banned in the house of commons since ways to make small amounts of money the 17 th century, so a snuffbox is maintained next to the entrance in ways to make small amounts of money case mps want perking up before a long policy debate. It’s the kind of thing that could be called a ways to make small amounts of money disgraceful drain on taxpayers money – if anyone actually used it. But luckily they don’t. Because it’s snuff, and we don’t live in a charles dickens novel.

Every time the house sits, the speaker is led in with a procession headed by ways to make small amounts of money a big gold stick. If anyone touches the big gold stick they’re in contempt of parliament – which occasionally happens. Michael heseltine got so angry during a debate in 1976 ways to make small amounts of money that he picked it up and started waving it at ways to make small amounts of money the opposition. In 1987, labour MP ron brown chucked it on the floor and ways to make small amounts of money had to shell out £1500 to have it repaired.

Check out the two red lines on the floor of ways to make small amounts of money the commons above. They’re designed to be two sword-lengths apart, so that if anyone ever takes a lunge at the ways to make small amounts of money PM he has enough space to draw his own sword ways to make small amounts of money and make a foole of them. MPs are prohibited from crossing the lines to prevent physical ways to make small amounts of money fights. Which is probably why this has never happened in the ways to make small amounts of money UK:

If you’ve ever watched the passing of a law on BBC ways to make small amounts of money parliament you’ll know that it’s about as scientific as a primary school talent contest. A bloke rings a bell, and then asks everyone in favour to shout "aye" and everyone against to shout "no". Whoever’s loudest wins. If it’s too noisy to tell, everyone has to stand up instead. If that doesn’t work out, the speaker yells out "division!" and everyone files out in a line and has to ways to make small amounts of money queue up to be counted. All of which could have been done in a few ways to make small amounts of money seconds using the technology from 90s gameshow 50/50.

Rumours abound of secret tunnels and tube stations that would ways to make small amounts of money allow mps and royals to make a quick exit from ways to make small amounts of money the capital if shit ever went down. A few tunnels are confirmed though. One which leads between the houses of parliament and downing ways to make small amounts of money street was used by nick clegg in 2010 to hold ways to make small amounts of money secret coalition talks with gordon brown and his pals. Another one allows entrance to the houses directly from westminster ways to make small amounts of money tube station, and is actually in full view of the public.

Mice are commonly sighted "scurrying around the members’ tea room" and the house is supposed to be full of them. Calls to bring in a cat in the mould of ways to make small amounts of money larry the downing street cat (aka chief mouser to the cabinet office) have been rejected, probably because they’re already giving twelve grand a year to a bird ways to make small amounts of money of prey to get rid of their pigeons. Hey hawkeye – what are we paying you for? How about picking up a mouse from time to time?

The arrival of 56 SNP mps created a stir at ways to make small amounts of money the start of this parliament, with many of them refusing to respect centuries old traditions. Youngest MP ever mhairi black caused the biggest ruckus when ways to make small amounts of money she refused to eat in a canteen segregated between mps ways to make small amounts of money and staff, saying "it actually reminded me of an episode of friends where ways to make small amounts of money joey can’t sit with ross when he begins working as a ways to make small amounts of money tour guide in the museum because, ‘blue coats don’t sit with white coats’."

Anyone in the building not a member of parliament or ways to make small amounts of money a parliamentary official has traditionally been referred to as a ways to make small amounts of money "stranger". That convention was ended in 2004 by the modernisation committee ways to make small amounts of money (which is clearly doing a great job) with the recommendation that outsiders be referred to as "the public". Despite that, the viewing gallery is still commonly referred to as the ways to make small amounts of money "strangers’ gallery" and there’s even a "strangers’ bar" which sounds like something you’d visit in a 1940s film noir to meet a ways to make small amounts of money suspicious-looking austrian lady smoking a cigarette. Which it probably is, knowing this place.

Catering for the house of lords cost the taxpayer £60,000 a week. They get £300 a day expenses to cover food and accommodation. They’ve spent about half a million quid since 2000 buying ways to make small amounts of money new paintings and they got furious when it was suggested ways to make small amounts of money that the catering department could use a slightly lower vintage ways to make small amounts of money of champagne. They even have a bar that’s just for bishops. Imagine being in a pub where everyone was a bishop. You can’t. Because it’s fucking weird.

Back in the 14 th and 15 th centuries, it was so common for speakers of the house to ways to make small amounts of money be executed that they had to be dragged unwillingly to ways to make small amounts of money their seats. As a light-hearted nod to that era of brutal state oppression, new speakers are still dragged to their seats when assuming ways to make small amounts of money their position. Though to be fair, speakers are still regularly crucified in the daily mail.

There are statues of former prime-ministers including winston churchill and margaret thatcher dotted around the ways to make small amounts of money buildings, and mps like to touch their favourite for good luck. It’s definitely not a terrifying thought that the people in ways to make small amounts of money charge of building sensible plans for the future of our ways to make small amounts of money country are highly superstitious. It makes you wonder if the deficit is as bad ways to make small amounts of money as they say, or whether someone just got some dodgy tarot cards.

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