Episode a list of ways to make money 11 jealousy and envy the catalyst coaching

Hi there, welcome back to the show! I hope you are all doing fabulously well. I love hearing from you all during the week on a list of ways to make money social media and email. Thanks for reaching out and sharing your stories and how a list of ways to make money this work has helped you become more confident and able a list of ways to make money to just shine in your lives. I love being a coach and working with so many a list of ways to make money incredible people. It’s just the best ever. JEALOUSY AND ENVY

One thing that I’ve been wanting to talk about on the show is a list of ways to make money jealousy and envy. It’s something that everyone has experienced and actually pops up a list of ways to make money more often than you might realize. I remember years ago prior to learning about life coaching a list of ways to make money I was sitting in my car waiting for one of a list of ways to make money my kids to get out of their music lesson and a list of ways to make money I turned on a podcast. The topic was envy and I thought, I can’t remember the last time I was envious. Not really something I need to work on and I a list of ways to make money was about to switch to another episode when an acquaintance a list of ways to make money knocked on my car window.

I started comparing and listening to all her good fortune a list of ways to make money and how it was better than what I had. Her car, her vacation, her kids talents, her money. And it didn’t help that she’s drop dead gorgeous and is like a size 0. The conversation was less than 30 minutes but it felt a list of ways to make money so painfully long and when she walked away I felt a list of ways to make money awful about myself and wasn’t too fond of her anymore either and I had a list of ways to make money to laugh at myself because just prior to that encounter a list of ways to make money I was feeling so good about myself, confident in my season, and that I wasn’t really an envious or jealous person and just like a list of ways to make money that I was reminded of some areas I could work a list of ways to make money on.

So I grabbed my notebook that I always carry with a list of ways to make money me and I took detailed notes because clearly I needed a list of ways to make money it and when I became a coach I noticed this a list of ways to make money pattern showing up more and more in the lives of a list of ways to make money my clients and especially in the work that I do a list of ways to make money to help people up level their lives and be able a list of ways to make money to show up confident despite what the circumstances are around a list of ways to make money you or that others have more of what you want. Because here’s the thing, confidence cannot exist when you’re feeling jealous and/or envious. Yes, you might be confident in certain areas but when you a list of ways to make money start to think about it you’re not confident, sure, certain in the area you’re feeling jealous or envious of. Understanding the two:

Both jealousy and envy are what I call secondary emotions. They’re emotions that stem from a deeper emotion. In this case the primary emotion is fear. Jealousy is the fear that you might lose something. We can be jealous of friends hanging out with other a list of ways to make money friends or family spending more time at another family members a list of ways to make money house because we FEAR that we’re losing affection, time, and attention.

Envy on the other hand is wanting something that someone a list of ways to make money else has. It’s the focus and emphasis of not having something. When you look at instagram and you see pictures of a list of ways to make money beautifully decorated, organized, immaculately clean homes and you look around your own home a list of ways to make money with piles here and there are dishes in the sink. You might feel envious that you don’t have what they have and you really, really want it.

There was a client once that was experiencing a lot a list of ways to make money of jealousy towards friends and family members. She was jealous of the relationship some of her family a list of ways to make money had with these friends that she was also friends with. She called her sister in law to ask if she a list of ways to make money was going to this activity and her sister in law a list of ways to make money said no and that she was going to hang out a list of ways to make money with this other friend.

So her reaction to hearing this was to believe that a list of ways to make money the sister in law was rubbing it in face, she started judging her and thinking of all the ways a list of ways to make money she was lacking in her mind, of course. It was her way of preventing loss. If she could make the sister in law less desirable a list of ways to make money then the outing and the get together would be less a list of ways to make money painful and less of a loss. She was trying to make herself feel better by lowering a list of ways to make money the sister in law. It’s not an attractive trait and I’m sure you can relate to different areas of this a list of ways to make money in your own life when you’ve felt and then acted out of jealousy.

There’s a lot of jealousy when it comes to physical a list of ways to make money appearance. Women who see other beautiful women get jealous because they a list of ways to make money have something they want or that they used to have a list of ways to make money and now things have changed. They see other women who are thinner and have cute a list of ways to make money clothes and they start comparing themselves to these women. They starting thinking thoughts like, “I used to be so thin. I used to look like that.” and they start feeling terrible inside about themselves because they’re making it mean that somehow they’re less than because this person is beautiful. Social beliefs

And then what happens is out of self preservation we a list of ways to make money have all kinds of defensive thoughts. We start justifying why we’re a certain way. “well, I bet she hasn’t had kids yet. I’ve had 5! If I didn’t have 5 kids it’d be easy for me to be thin too.” thoughts that are poor attempts at making you feel better a list of ways to make money by putting her down. If you can lower her in your eyes then she’s not as much of a threat to you and a list of ways to make money possibly, hopefully then you can feel better. But you don’t feel better. Thinking these thoughts only make you feel worse because deep a list of ways to make money down you still really believe all the jealous thoughts and a list of ways to make money now you’ve added guilt to the mix for thinking these judgmental a list of ways to make money thoughts.

I want to say here too, that while these feelings aren’t fun or pleasant I still am grateful for these a list of ways to make money feelings. Negative feelings aren’t something to run away from but to lean into a list of ways to make money – to understand. It’s not something I ever want to live with and a list of ways to make money stay with but these feelings that come up shine light a list of ways to make money on areas we can improve on. It’s like pain. No one wants to feel pain but pain is a a list of ways to make money blessing, it’s a sounding alarm that something is wrong, something needs attention.

Let’s talk about envy. Envy is believing that you need something that you don’t have in order to be happy. You look at instagram and you see people going on a list of ways to make money all kinds of trips and vacations and you’re envious because they look so happy and that must a list of ways to make money be so fun and if only I had that, if I made more money, if my husband had a better job then I could a list of ways to make money have that too and then I’d be happy.

Envy shows up when you see other’s succeeding in their lives in different areas and you’re not succeeding as well as you think you should. It looks something like this, you see your friend building a brand new beautiful home a list of ways to make money with pottery barn everything and it just looks like they a list of ways to make money have it all. You feel envious and then you start looking at your a list of ways to make money house and start noticing all the chips in the paint a list of ways to make money and dents in the walls and you think, I’ll never have that. My house is ugly and old and I need more a list of ways to make money money to have and do everything I want. So you’re trapped in your own world of thought and scarcity a list of ways to make money totally unhappy and stuck. Need something external to be happy

You believe that you will be happier with it, whatever it is – so I need to get that somehow, like when it’s envy. If only I made that much money a year. Or had that house or body then I would be a list of ways to make money happy. Or if it’s jealousy it’s thinking that if I don’t have that or it gets taken away from me a list of ways to make money or if someone else can do it better than me a list of ways to make money I won’t be happy anymore. So I need to prevent them from taking that from a list of ways to make money me. I need to be on alert and looking for danger a list of ways to make money and jealous of anyone or anything that might take that a list of ways to make money from me.

So one of the biggest areas of thoughts that I a list of ways to make money see this manifesting is the idea and belief that there’s a fixed, finite number or amount. That it’s like a pie and there’s only so many slices and if she gets a a list of ways to make money piece and she gets another piece then each piece that’s gone is a threat to me because there’s not going to be enough for me. With each slice that’s gone that’s less for you, that you can’t have enough because some of it is already taken a list of ways to make money so we act out of fear, of lack, and scarcity.

So when you’re thinking and believing you need something external in order a list of ways to make money for you to feel good, your brain is looking for that. It’s like, oh, see…if you had more money then you’d be able to replace that, fix that, go there, buy that and then you’d be happy. And the problem with this is it isn’t giving you the results you want. It can never give you the results you want. It won’t bring you happiness

What’s really fascinating is that people who are envious of a list of ways to make money others think that when they have that thing, when they get that amazing house, when they have all that money, when they get that job, or whatever it is then they’ll be happy but those people that they’re envious of aren’t problem free or happy all the time but they a list of ways to make money can’t see that because they just assume that they must a list of ways to make money have it all.

I was listening to a colleague of mine talk about a list of ways to make money her weight and she was always so envious of other a list of ways to make money women that had these tiny, cute, perfect bodies and she wanted that. In her mind she really believed that when she got a list of ways to make money that cute, tiny body that she’d be happy, her problems would be solved, and the world would be this amazing place. But then she lost all the weight and had this a list of ways to make money cute, tiny body and she was still unhappy only now she a list of ways to make money was envious of others that had a lot of money a list of ways to make money and that perfect house and that perfect friendship with a a list of ways to make money gang of girlfriends. It won’t go away

Envy doesn’t just go away. It isn’t solved when you get the thing, whatever the thing is. Holland says, “envy is a mistake that just keeps on giving. Obviously we suffer a little when some misfortune befalls us, but envy requires us to suffer all good fortune that a list of ways to make money befalls everyone we know! What a bright prospect that is—downing another quart of pickle juice every time anyone around a list of ways to make money you has a happy moment!”

So each time you think that thought again and again a list of ways to make money and again, like, think about instagram and scrolling through and seeing all those a list of ways to make money posts with beautifully clean, decorated homes and each time you see it you have a list of ways to make money a thought. A quick subconscious thought. Maybe it’s a quick ugh. Or a sigh. Those still come from a belief now on an internal, subconscious level. You’re practicing envy. So no matter what you get, even if you got exactly what you wanted you’re going to find something else to be envious about. It’s never enough. You just keep thinking if only, if only and raising the bar to what it is a list of ways to make money you want and in the meantime chugging pickle juice and a list of ways to make money feeling terrible with each passing thought. It’s not out there

It’s not out there. What you want, it’s not out there. Your problems will follow you no matter what you get, or how much you get it’ll still be there. Envy just keeps on giving and giving and giving and a list of ways to make money it feels terrible and lacking and never enough. Happiness is always outside of your grasp and reach. There are so many thin, beautiful, wealthy, successful women with beautiful homes, accomplished kids that are still miserable.

There’s so much evidence all around us that shows us a list of ways to make money that they thing you want isn’t the key to happiness because if it were, the people that have it would be happy and they’re not. So we have to start by acknowledging that happiness isn’t out there. That THING won’t make you happy or sometimes we just think it a list of ways to make money won’t make us feel bad anymore.

If I had more money I wouldn’t worry about bills or lack. I could get the things I wanted and I wouldn’t feel bad anymore. I could be kinder to myself because I wouldn’t have a reason to beat myself up. I could believe I was successful if I made x a list of ways to make money amount of dollars. I could believe I was beautiful if I were a a list of ways to make money size double zero. I could believe that I’m lovable and wanted if I had a lot of a list of ways to make money friends. Escape negative emotions

Something that helped me out tremendously whenever I struggled with a list of ways to make money envy or jealousy was to believe that there’s no pie. Like I mentioned earlier, the idea that there’s only so much and if someone else has it a list of ways to make money then that’s less for me or none for me. I also like what james keller said, “A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.” there’s enough for everyone

But we kind of think it does. We kind of think that when someone else gets good a list of ways to make money fortune of any kind that somehow that means less for a list of ways to make money you but that candle didn’t put yours out. It just illuminated the world all the more. So tell yourself each time you feel scarcity and lack a list of ways to make money and fear creeping in, there’s no pie. There’s enough for everyone. There is no pie. There is enough and more than enough of whatever it a list of ways to make money is you want. Truly. There is enough.

When you start questioning the thoughts and wondering why you’re believing them in the first place it’s much easier to access gratitude and even take steps a list of ways to make money towards abundance. Start with curiosity. Realize the only reason you’re feeling this way is because of a thought you’re choosing to believe. It’s a choice and what if you didn’t choose that anymore? What would change? How would you feel?

Envy and jealousy are fear based feelings. They’re secondary to fear. Be compassionate instead of judgmental with yourself. Be curious and dig deeper to find out what your a list of ways to make money believing you need and then question if you really need a list of ways to make money it and why you think you do. Start to understand yourself. The more you question and wonder where that thought came a list of ways to make money from in the first place the more you’ve distanced yourself from the original offensive thought. The more room there is for new thoughts, new beliefs, new feelings.

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